lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You made out with two different species that night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
