I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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