Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
its not stalking. its research.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
