Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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