The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it's like iHOP with fire
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize