I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Randomize
