Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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