; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
