I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
