Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
