escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
