I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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