rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
