Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
