So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
