Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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