Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
