He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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