i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
