Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
