Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
