I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
