Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize