She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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