So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
