i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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