also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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