I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
