I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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