Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
