I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
