I CAN MOONWALK!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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