Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
