in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That's when you crack a 10am beer
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
