Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
