Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
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this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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