I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
...so i touched it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
