Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The power of my boobs compel you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
