i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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