He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
bring money and cleavage
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
