I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize