just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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