saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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