lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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