dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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