While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
