the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
