I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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