Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
