Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize