I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
