ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
