i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize