3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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