Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
