he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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