OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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