On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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