Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
