your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I forget how to act sober
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
