I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
